


in lieu of the innuendo

by sarahcakes613



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Alternate Universe, Hairdresser Rafael Barba, Hand Jobs, Innuendo, M/M, Plumber Sonny Carisi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:07:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27409297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarahcakes613/pseuds/sarahcakes613
Summary: When two of the three sinks in Rafael's salon start acting up, he calls the plumber. Sonny's a walking wet dream and Rafael is thirsty, which isn't helped by Sonny's unintentional innuendos.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Comments: 14
Kudos: 66
Collections: Barisi Professions Bingo





	in lieu of the innuendo

**Author's Note:**

> Kat asked for handyman debauchery. Hope this fits the brief, darling!
> 
> All the words Sonny uses are actual plumbing terminology, but I have no idea if they do the things I decided they do. Please do not ask me for plumbing advice.

The trouble starts when Rafael is knuckles-deep in a client’s hair, cold water where only a moment ago there had been hot. The client shrieks and Rafael shuts the water off quickly, apologizing profusely as he moves her to a second wash basin. Thankfully the problem doesn’t repeat there, and he is able to finish rinsing the dye out of the woman’s hair with no further complications.

Two days later, the second wash basin stops draining properly, leaving an unwelcome film behind as the water trickles down slowly. A hair salon with only one of three sinks working isn’t worth it’s weight in shampoo so he does a map search for the nearest plumber and makes a call.

_“D.C. Plumbers, if it’s gotta leak we’ll take a peek._ ”

He almost hangs up the phone but settles for silently groaning at the childish rhyme before explaining his situation to the receptionist and reiterating twice the need for assistance as soon as possible. The receptionist promises to send someone out within the hour.

While he waits, he thumbs through a months-old issue of In Style, which leads to him wondering why his reception area is stocked with out-of-date magazines, and by the time he hears the knock on the glass door, he’s organized all of the reading material and weeded out everything over a month old. If he’s going to be forced to discuss celebrity dating scandals with clients, he’d like them to at least be recent ones.

He unlocks the door and stands to the side to let in a lanky man carrying a tool box and wearing a pair of blue coveralls.

“Hey, I’m Sonny, from DC Plumbers. You must be Rafael, that called about the sinks?” He asks, looking around before settling his gaze on Rafael.

The plumber has light brown hair, silver streaks catching the fluorescent lighting as he moves his head. He’s long and lean, with narrow hips and a plush pink mouth. He is entirely too Rafael’s type.

“Yes, that’s me,” Rafael says. “One isn’t draining properly and one is only giving me cold water.” He points to the corner of the salon where the basins are.

Sonny looks at the shiny parquet floor and bends over to untie his boots. Rafael is drawing down the blinds and when he turns back around he is faced with the handyman’s ass, taut in snug cotton. Thanks to the coveralls he is free of the affliction so common to plumbers, but even encased in fabric it is a view worth noticing.

Feet now in disposable booties, Sonny shuffles towards the sinks. As he begins running diagnostic tests on each set of taps, Rafael hovers awkwardly.

“Do you need me for anything?” Rafael asks, not sure what the protocol is.

“Like what?” Sonny’s head pops up from where he is inspecting the underside of a sink.

“I don’t know…handing you wrenches or something?”

The plumber laughs. “Nah, I’m good. You don’t need to stick around if you have stuff to do.”

Rafael goes through his closing routine, counting the cash and prepping the deposits to drop off first thing in the morning, but it’s been a quiet few days since he’s had to stagger his appointments due to the plumbing issues, and he is finished with the receipts pretty quickly.

He leans over the counter and sees Sonny bent over again, rummaging through his toolkit.

“Actually, there is one thing you could do for me.”

Rafael can think of a few things he’d like to do for Sonny. “What’s that?”

“Could I bother you for something to drink?” Sonny stands and wipes at his brow, which is covered in a light sheen of sweat. He has unbuttoned the top half of his coveralls and tied the sleeves around his waist so his top half is encased only in a t-shirt.

Rafael nods sympathetically. It’s nearly sunset but it’s still well above 80 and his salon’s fans only do so much. He goes into the backroom and grabs a bottle of water from the fridge, also pausing to stick his head in the freezer for a few deliciously cold seconds.

“Here you go,” he hands the bottle to Sonny, who cracks it open and chugs half of it down in one go. His head is tilted back and his neck is long and pale, more sweat pooling just barely in the divots of his collarbone.

Rafael snaps his eyes away, not wanting to be caught staring.

“Have you worked out what the problem is yet?” He asks casually, as if any answer he receives will make sense to him.

Sonny shrugs one shoulder. “The one that’s not draining is pretty straightforward, there’s something blocking it. I just need to slide my snake down your drain and pump it a few times, that should do the trick.”

Rafael nearly chokes on air at the completely guileless way Sonny says those words, as if he has absolutely no idea at the innuendo in them.

“And the temperature problem?” He manages to ask with a straight face, but his mind is still stuck on having his drain pumped.

Sonny rubs his jaw, the light stubble scratch sounding like fine-grain sandpaper. “That’s a bit trickier,” he admits. “It could be you blew something, or your pipes need cleaning and the hot one’s just dirtier.”

Every word that falls from his mouth has a double meaning, and Rafael can feel his pants tighten as he watches Sonny lick his lips casually.

“I’ll need access to your gas cock, so I can block the flow to your pipes,” Sonny says.

“You can block the flow in my pipes,” Rafael mutters under his breath.

“What?”

“Hm?”

Sonny gives him a confused smile. “Did you say something?”

“Oh, I was just clearing my throat.” Rafael lies. “I don’t know what that thing you said is, but all the access points to the main water supply are just over there.” He points to a wall panel on the other side of the sinks.

Sonny removes the panel and leans into the wall. The arch of his back is a perfect curve and Rafael watches the way his muscles bunch and shift under his tight white t-shirt.

“Oh, well here’s your problem!” Sonny lets out a triumphant _aha!_ and pulls back from the wall with a small piece of pipe in his hand.

“Your nipples are all worn down,” he says, holding it out to Rafael.

Rafael stares at him, and then down at the piece of pipe. He desperately wants to make a sly comment about the very obvious way Sonny’s own nipples aren’t at all worn down, because he can see them, small tight hard buds pushing against the snug white t-shirt, so thin it might as well be sheer for all the coverage it is providing.

“I know I have a fresh…oh, here we go.” Sonny pulls a tube of caulk out of his kit. “I’ll just get my caulk gun, squeeze out some of my plumber’s putty onto the male threads and screw them back in.”

Rafael has absolutely no idea what Sonny is saying but everything sounds like something he’d like Sonny to do to him.

“Right, well. You do that, I’m going to…go do inventory. In my office.” Rafael turns abruptly and walks stiffly into his office, pushing the door shut behind him.

He’s not sure if he’s angered someone or really pleased someone in the wish fulfillment department of heaven, because the tall sweaty man with the taut ass currently working in his salon is either a gift or a curse from the gods. He jerks his pants open, the zipper pulled just low enough to relieve some of the pressure on his hard cock.

He’s just about to spit on his hand and wrap it around himself when there’s a knock on his door. He shoves his chair forward so his lap is hidden by the desk.

“Yes?”

Sonny opens the door and steps inside. He pauses, taking in Rafael’s slightly rumpled shirt, the flush on his skin.

“Oh thank fuck,” Sonny sighs, shutting the door behind him and leaning back against it. His hips jut out, framing a thick bulge in his pants. Rafael’s mouth is dry as he looks up at Sonny’s face and then back down to his bulge.

Sonny’s hand comes up to stroke himself through the fabric, and his ring catches the light.

Rafael pushes away from his desk and stalks over to Sonny, crowding him against the door.

“You know what all your weird handyman lingo does to me,” he accuses, leaning in to bite gently at Sonny’s chest through his shirt.

“Mm,” Sonny agrees, sliding a hand down the back of Rafael’s pants to grope shamelessly at his ass.

Then there are no words, just muffled gasps and grunts as together they shove Sonny’s coveralls open enough that he can take himself and Raf both in hand. It’s just this side of too dry and the friction is a spark sending a flame up Rafael’s spine.

Sonny runs his fingers across their tips, gathering up the pre and using it to slick his grip, his warm hand wrapped firmly, pressing their cocks together tightly as he tugs.

“Come on Rafi,” Sonny urges, “give it to me.”

Raf thrusts hard once more into Sonny’s grip and comes, spilling over them both with a stuttered cry. Sonny keeps moving his hand, fucking into his fist frantically, his hips jerking. Raf slides his hand up Sonny’s shirt and tweaks his nipple, running his nails across it and then bending to bite it again without the fabric in the way.

Sonny gasps and shudders, and Raf feels the wet hot of spunk hitting his stomach. Sonny collapses back against the door and Raf moves with him, forehead coming down to rest against Sonny’s shoulder.

They stand like that for a moment catching their breath before Sonny speaks up.

“You could have just asked me to have a look at it when it first happened.” There’s no rancor in his tone, and Raf smiles up at him.

“Yeah, but then you would have just come over in jeans and not your work clothes.” Rafael leans up to kiss him, a firm filthy promise of a kiss. “I wanted the full depth of the plumbing experience.”

“Mm, I’ll plumb your depths.” Sonny murmurs into his mouth.

Raf rolls his eyes, but laughs. “That doesn’t even make sense.”

“Sure it does,” Sonny rolls his hips against Raf. “Gimme ten minutes and I’ll show you.”

Rafael shakes his head and steps away from his husband’s grasp. “Come on, I still need to finish closing up. Can you fix the issues tonight?”

Sonny waggles his hand. “I’ll snake the pipes tonight, that should fix the drain issue. I’m pretty sure the hot water problem is an issue with the thermostat so I’ll swing by the hardware store first thing tomorrow and get a new one to install.”

“Get to it then, mister.” He pats Sonny on the ass.

He moves around the salon, putting things away, sweeping and mopping the floor while Sonny works. At one point there is a violently sucking sound and then a self-congratulatory cheer as Sonny fills the unclogged basin and the water drains rapidly.

All that’s left to do now is turn off the lights and lock up behind them.

“Hey Rafi?”

“Yeah?”

Sonny leans down to whisper in his husband’s ear. “Let’s go home so you can stick your plug in my drainhole.”

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact I learned while writing this: sinks that are built so that they are embedded into the counter are called self-rimming.


End file.
